Winter Sketchbook Scans
and a special Valentine find
Happy Valentine’s day!
I just got back from an estate sale that had quite a bit of interesting 1930’s-50’s antique paper ephemera. I found this amazing photo print inside an unassuming black envelope, perfect for today:
I’m ready for Spring. My holiday season was tumultuous, exhausting, traumatizing. I faced weeks of back to back traveling to be with family and friends and family again all while carrying the weight of a recent revelation that shook me to my core. I was deeply hurting, but as always, I turned to my sketchbook, determined to stay present and appreciate being with my people. And I’m delighted to look back on those pages and see so many sweet portraits of people that I love.
So much trauma felt in the body can be relieved by scooping some of it out and putting it onto a page.
The page on the left was drawn at our weekly Northwest Arkansas sketch night. I don’t think I would have been able to tackle and finish such a complicated drawing if I was just alone at home. It’s the cover for Aphex Twin’s Music from the Merch Desk (2016-2023), an album released in December of tracks that could previously only be found on records sold at live performances.
I listened to it at maximum volume as I drove the 20 minutes in the dark to the brewery, the rythmic bass violently rattling my speakers and sending vibrations throughout my body. The first two songs, different mixes of a track called no stillson 6 cirk, perfectly echoed back the opposing waves of manic rage and stoic numbness that I was experiencing. I was entranced for that drive, grateful for the medicine of this intense sensory onslaught delivered in the way that only Richard D. James can conjure. Both tracks together equal to about 21 minutes — I invite you to lay down in the dark and listen to them as loud as you can.
Anyway, I wish I had more drawings from Christmas at home. There were so many times I looked at my adorable nephew and wished my sketchbook and pencil would magically appear in my hands, but for the majority of the time there I was just a puddle of lazy, phone in hand. No executive function spoons to walk over to my bag and grab my sketchbook and start drawing in it.
After Christmas at home, I drove directly to my college friend group’s traditional New Year’s eve several days of debauchery in a cabin. The energy of this group of people is always conducive to creativity for me, so several more sketchbook pages were filled. I surprised myself with this drawing of the fire pit chairs. Similarly to the Aphex Twin album cover drawing, I doubt I would have achieved this level of detail if I hadn’t been having a deep conversation with a friend as I created it.
Friends in the hot tub, a little more tentatively drawn than usual, in pencil instead of pen, nervous and trying too hard to skillfully capture the complicated composition of four lovely people in a hot tub in front of me before they moved or got out while a little bit crossfaded before noon.
Home for two days before flying out to family cabin. This “body scan” drawing shows how it feels. It’s helpful to be mindful enough and feel it enough that you are able to transfer it onto the page. And the Page of Cups, an important card from the first of two incredible tarot readings that I would receive throughout my travels.
My sister, and my mom, from the seat behind her in our rented van as she played Marvel Snap on her phone.
Well, I’m thoroughly inspired to document more of my daily life and the people in it through drawings, and I hope you are too!
Although my holidays were difficult and there are many sad drawings here, things are improving. I’m learning a new artistic medium (more on that soon!), I’ve updated my design portfolio and had some job/contract work traction. I found an incredible massage therapist who I treated myself to visiting every other week for my first three visits, and will be seeing monthly in the future. I’m having a lot of fun playing an online Viking survival game with my friends. So y’all don’t worry about me.
One last recommendation, for when you’re tired and your eyeballs hurt and doing anything but scrolling feels impossible:
You’ll want to be laying down and cozy under a blanket <3
Thanks for sticking with me, it means the world. Sending love and drawing inspiration your way.
xoxo
